I can’t believe that it has been 51 years since we got married. It was an arranged marriage orchestrated by our two families. Not sure how we both are so different and yet joined hands and stepped up to the most challenging, invigorating, inspiring, thrilling, yet delightful and heavenly job on earth, a marriage which has lasted so well.
He came to our home to see me in response to a marriage proposal put forth by my fourth brother-in-law (who was his older brother). I did not like that he came to see me with a jute-bag full of coconuts from his village near Sakshi Gopal. I was hoping a foreign returned person will come at least with a fancier bag. We were left alone for a few minutes to make a conversation. He was an introvert. I am an extrovert who strikes up a conversation with strangers. After serving him tea and snacks my only question to him was that if I can finish my college. I wanted to finish and earn a B.A degree. His answer was if I wish to, then I can, why not? That is it. I got excited about the possibility of getting a degree after my marriage with him. I fell in love with him and prayed to Goddess RamChandi that please Ma, let him say “yes” to marry me. Soon after, with few exchange of talk between my dad and brother-in-law, it happened. My brother-in-law played a big role, saying to him that I can adjust to any situation. Since he was not looking for anything extraordinary but a suitable life partner, they all agreed that my marriage was settled with him. Within the next few weeks, an early date for the marriage ceremony was settled, since no other good days were there as per our almanac. That day was 4th June 1969
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After that day, I started my journey with my husband with the blessings of elders. I was 95 lb. and eighteen years old when I got married. We both did not have mothers and came from very middle-class families. So getting a stomach full of home-cooked food like fish, meat, fruits, and a nice three-room flat with running water was good enough for us. I remember going to a movie hall and sitting in the balcony for the first time with him. I pinched myself and the leather seat to see if it was true!!! With time we had two children who brought joy to us and we became a family. Giving them good education became main focus. We worked hard for that together. Today’s post is really about acknowledging the blessings that universe has bestowed upon us. We received a lot of love, trust, and support from our family members and friends. As I reflect back on this event every memory brings a smile to my face, which has strengthened our marriage as time goes by. I still have feelings that bring love and more commitment to our marriage every day. I developed a good deal of independence being with him, Personally, I am certainly blessed to have a life partner who has demonstrated tremendous sacrifices, courage, inner strength, and confidence, not only in creating opportunities for himself but also in providing leadership to our family that has made a difference. Indeed, I really feel heard, understood, and respected by him. This makes me confident and falls in love with him even more as we get older.
In 1977 we opted to immigrate to the USA in order to give our family a better opportunity. We since have a younger son who was born here. All our three children have graduated from esteemed colleges and are working in their field of choice. Today, I remember how loving and kind my husband has been to me all these years. His feeling has not changed since June 4th, 1969. With a promise to love and care in good and bad times we started our life together, thinking that it was destiny for us to marry each other with the blessing of our family and God. For a lasting union, it is mentioned that there must be genuine care, respect, and empathy for each other. I would say that I am truly blessed to have all these in my life. I reflected all the good advice he has given me over the years, which shaped me to be what I am today. People celebrate their special day in many different ways. Some celebrate going to their favorite restaurant, vacationing at their favorite place, and/or exchanging presents. Some people throw a big party for this occasion and celebrate with family and friends. Since I am a lover of words, nothing more will please me than process my thoughts with words like this for you all. For me at least, it’s only through words, I can express my feelings more clearly. Penning my thoughts is an expression of totality for me. I celebrate this special day with my words which may be different for many.
A song from my heart, Amaro Porano Jaha Chay ( Rabindra Sangeet) || Maithili Thakur