For my daughter

August 21 is one of my favorite day and will remain like this till I am gone from here.  Because it is my daughter’s birthday. Here is the post with a song for you all to enjoy.

There’s nothing quite like being a mother! “It’s an immense pleasure I felt when my daughter was born at Dr. Rao’s clinic at 05:15 PM Andheri East Mumbai.  It was a sensation of such happiness and warmth within me that mere words cannot do the justice. ” That moment when it was quiet just after she was born, she looked at me straight in the eye as if she was looking into my soul and said it is O.K. mom, now you will not be alone. I am here. Yes, I was alone in the delivery room since no one from my family could come to help me at Mumbai.

Every change for me is a feeling of loss because my mother was not there. Each new stage of my life revealed my loss: I didn’t have a mother. I felt it every time I approach a change in my life: a new baby, a new job, a new house. My mother died when I was only ten months old. Some twenty years later, as I had my first child, I discovered the peculiar paradox of my situation. Not only my childhood was stolen from me, so also was my ritual passage to womanhood which consisted of having my first child.

After my first baby was born I got to experience what mothers can mean for their children. Even though I did not know my mother well and have no memories of her being around. I grew more like her each day. My sisters say I look like her and talk like her. Genes have taken over where memory has failed, and it is as spooky as it is comforting to realize that I have, at long last, wrested some vestige of my mother for myself.

Same may happen to my daughter. She will carry some of my nature. I see that throuh my experience now. “While consoling his little brother over a ripped batman costume, I overheard my daughter said, “Don’t worry, just take it to mom, she can fix anything.” That reminded me of my lost childhood.

Happy birthday to you, my dear daughter today. You are a daughter, a friend, an advisor above all my life line to this world where I leave a part me after I am gone. With love – Mom.

Here is a song I tribute to Urmila Sahu after I ate the sweets she gave me at Arlington.

Mitha Mitha

“Santosh Dash what about your trip to Washington D.C?… we are expecting few lines on Bundi… 🙂 “ This comment in FB prompted me to pen today’s post. Besides meeting my son Sanjay who had a conference at D.C, I was lucky to meet Sanjay’s smart friend Duc Luu and his beautiful wife Zara. After having great Vietnamese lunch at “Four sisters” we said good bye and went to meet Urmila Sahu at the Starbucks. I have met her few times in big gathering and knew that she is a passionate cook. I love to eat and have a fascination and respect for people who can cook simple yet delicious food. Cooking has many benefits, including being a creative outlet and a stress reliever. As a cook, she has learned to add her own personal flair to recipes through extensive trial and error. There are no limits for her when it comes to make our traditional Odia “bundia” or oblong Gulab Jamun. She has mastered to make the rose cake a culinary art with her kind, compassionate hand and heart. In my eye she has become an expert who can put together the dramatic attraction of cooking procedure from selecting and preparing materials to cutting, steaming, and decorating the food. Posting here a picture of her delicious gift to me (yellow, red bundia rose cake and gulab jamun). From last night I have eaten 4 or 5 times each sweets thinking that it is Monday and I must do fasting and eat only sweets with some Indian chapatti. Oh, yes tomorrow it will be Tuesday and I have to look for some other excuse. Thank you Urmila for making my day so cheerful with your delicious sweets. Your bhaina says you made the best bundi and gulab jamun which means you have the A+. Ha, ha.

First overnight train journey with Sudhanshu and my introduction to hot Tea.

My dad was looking for a suitable match for me since he was getting older to finish his duty. While visiting our home Sudhanshu (whose brother was married to my sister) mentioned that an arranged marriage proposal for him did not materialize and he needed to go back to Bangalore within few days. A relative of mine (may be an aunt) quickly mentioned to my father that why not think of the match for Chandu with him? Then it hit everybody that it can be possible provided we all agree.

With some reluctance due to me being only 18 years old, he opted to ask me if I’d agree to this proposal. I said yes, provided I go to college and finish my study. Thus my fairy tale wedding was fixed within a week. My father and my husband’s father went to the Sakshi (witness) Gopal (our supreme Lord) temple and promised each other to make our marriage on June 4th 1969 which was only a week after our meeting. In front of fire God and our relatives and friends Sudhanshu took my hand in his hand and promised that he will take care of me. In return I also promised in silence that in good times, sickness, I will always be there for him.

After few days staying at Bhubaneswar, we came to Jharia where he was working as a grade 1 officer at Central Fuel Research Institute (CFRI) as a scientist.

I remember our journey so well because that was the first time I was taking an overnight journey by train. It was magical and something new was inside me trying to pop out. I did not know that one can eat, sleep in train. It was not internet age and I always traveled few hours by bus wherever I used to go anywhere. My knowledge of outside world was very limited. I never experienced closeness to someone from opposite sex, caring and sitting next to me before. From corner of my eye I looked and saw that he was handsome, well-educated and had a kind heart. I thought it was a dream and pinched myself. “No it was true”. Only a week before I was a girl at Pathuria Sahi Puri and now I am Mrs. Misra taking my first overnight train journey with my husband.

The station was coming near and so also the morning sun was spreading its beautiful ray. Sudhanshu asked me if I need to drink a cup of tea since the “chaiwala” was coming and selling hot tea. I smiled and said I don’t drink tea. He handed me his cup while paying the person. I sipped little tea from his cup. It felt good to my mouth and mind. I kept on sipping more. Looking me drinking the tea he smiled and ordered one more cup for him. That was my introduction to hot tea and now I can’t do anything unless I have a cup of tea in the morning. Ha, ha. My first lesson learnt from him. Many more to come. So long for today.

And link to another song follows:

Enjoy and have a great weekend.

The commonality that we share among us is the stories of who we are.

I spend a lot of time thinking about storytelling especially about what I need to convey you all in my fable story.

I often try to include small details in my story about my own experience. Most of the time I dig down deep to bring out my feelings in to the computer screen when I type. Often I write about my struggle to move beyond the limitation I faced in my childhood or my own experience being married and being a mother.

I never run away or hesitate to pen my story no matter how bumpy or interesting it is. I wanted to finish college and get married just the way other girls did at that time. Unfortunately, my dad being older and not having my mother was an obstacle for me to get higher education. After I finished high school they looked for a suitable groom for me. I was hoping to continue my study after I get married if possible.

When Sudhanshu came to see me with our marriage proposal my only question to him was if I can go to college. His answer to my question was, if you want you can and why not. So it happened and my life changed.

Here is the picture of us from 1969 when he came to see me for our marriage proposal.

Leaving Puri, Orissa, India I, have lost many things but gained plenty which has made my life very interesting.

Despite everything, I did succeed to achieve my goal which was to get a college education and work.

I have added link to a song from the movie Sujata which is one of my all-time favorite and shows how I felt after I met Sudhanshu.

Enjoy.